Know Thyself. Commit to Responsible Speaking and Listening. Resist Dehumanization. Learn from Defeat and Failure
Know Thyself - Polly Young-Eisendrath on Substack
I am a Jungian analyst, mindfulness teacher, TEDx speaker, clinical psychologist, and the founder of Dialogue Therapy and Real Dialogue. With 19 published books—primarily on Jungian psychology and mindfulness—I bring decades of expertise to a wide range of relational and developmental issues. For over 30 years, I have trained clinicians in how to meet defensiveness and disconnection with clarity, presence, and relational skill.
Now, I feel compelled to bring this work beyond the consulting room and into the public sphere. I am deeply concerned about our collective future. Our universal human tendency to create enemies—and then attempt to defeat them—must be acknowledged and transformed. Persistent or repetitive estrangement and hostility in our families, communities, and societies threaten the possibility of a sustainable, humane world.
As human beings, must learn from our differences and disagreements, or we risk losing sight of truth altogether. Science offers one path to truth, based on disciplined, respectful debate and revision, starting with assumptions and hypotheses. Real Dialogue offers another: an accessible, human-centered way to engage differing beliefs and perspectives without erasing or invalidating conflicting ideas. We can learn to make sense of another’s experience without immediately or only making a case for our own.
If we want to grow through conflict and truly welcome disagreement, we need a kind of "user’s manual" for being human. This means accepting responsibility for our nature: that we are self-aware yet limited, mortal, often mistaken, and profoundly shaped by emotion. We don't need to exhaust ourselves trying to control others. Instead, when we fully inhabit our first-person experience—acknowledging both its uniqueness and its limits—we begin to understand why consensus about “the world” is elusive, and why we must learn from one another with respect, humility, and care.
Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D.
Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D., is a psychologist, writer, speaker, and Jungian analyst who is the founder and Executive Director of the Center for Real Dialogue in Vermont. She has published 19 books including, The Self-Esteem Trap: Raising Confident and Compassionate Kids in an Age of Self-Importance and Love Between Equals: Relationship as a Spiritual Path. She is the co-author, with Jean Pieniadz, Ph.D., of Dialogue Therapy for Couples and Real Dialogue for Opposing Sides: Methods Based on Psychoanalysis and Mindfulness. She maintains a clinical practice in central Vermont. In 2009, Polly received the Otto Weininger Memorial Award from the Canadian Psychological Association for outstanding lifetime contributions to psychoanalysis.
Polly hosts the popular podcast ENEMIES: From War to Wisdomwhich provides a fresh look at human hostilities and what to do about them. She has a new podcast that examines the current fads, fictions and potentials of psychedelics, meditation and other kinds of awakening: Waking Up is Not Enough: Flourishing in the Human Space. She is a lifelong Buddhist practitioner and a Mindfulness teacher.
The 4 Principles of Real Dialogue
// Know Thyself
// Commit to Responsible Speaking & Listening
// Resist Dehumanization
// Learn from Defeat & Failure
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